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53. Not My Best Confident Self!

As you may know by now, one of the purposes for writing this blog is to encourage women to find confidence within themselves. My part of this is in the area of fashion styling and giving out information on how to find your own unique style, and offering my own designs for your consideration.

Today I have nothing!

Today I would love to be wrapped up in a black onesie made of the softest minky fabric.

Today I am feeling far from my own confident person!

I've been content to sit in all of my emotions today up to this point and I have spent time praying, but I really didn't think that I would even write a post today, but now that I have started I am beginning to consider the ways that I can try to pull myself together.

First I am going to go and dress in something that I love to wear....................Done.

I don't know what it is about this orange/purple/olive dress but I am just loving this colour combination at the moment and wearing it as a long jacket thingy is my favourite.

Next I'm putting on one of my favourite perfumes, Paris by YSL. It's a sweet floral garden wafting all around me.

After this I think I'll really indulge myself and actually moisturising my face and hands! I know it's a bit out there, but I'm going for it. I'm not worried about adding make up today because I'm not going anywhere.

Now, to go all out and do something with my hair! I really need to visit the hairdresser, but for now I'm good with tying it up. I really hadn't done my hair yet today, and as much as I would love to have dreadlocks, one great big matted one on the back of my head is not really the option I am going for.

Add some fun coloured bangles and Mermaid earrings, because,why not?

Am I feeling better? Well yes, a little. I think it's mostly because writing about what should be regular daily self care as if it is indulgent is making me smile.

I don't know about you but some days I just get so caught up in everyone and everything and trying to make sure that everyone else is happy to a point where I neglect me.

Putting myself together, dressing in clothes that I enjoy and accessorising is helping me feel a bit brighter.

I am now writing with a 4 year old on one knee and another 4yo beside him. They are watching shark videos on my phone while I type. They are facing my computer screen and I can only see my keyboard. And my alarm just went off to remind me to go out the front and collect the 7yo twins off the school bus! (sorry I couldn't manage a photo of all this)

Okay, now nearly 2 hours later, the beautiful children who I get to call my grandchildren are all back with their parents and I can finish this.

How am I feeling? still not great. Maybe it's hormonal, or the slight headache I have felt all day or any one or all of the many feelings that I have about not always being able to fix everything or make sure that everyone is happy.(I do know on some level that this is unrealistic) Today is just not going to be the day that I am my best confident person, and I need to be okay with that. I am okay with that, because how do I know what my best is unless I have the occasional off day? ( I just want to say here that if your off days outweigh your good days then it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor or seek help from a counsellor or psychologist)

What is my next step?

Take some mild pain meds for my headache, then sit somewhere quiet for a while and write in a journal. No guarantee that this will change the way I am feeling today, but it might help me sort out some of the thoughts and feelings and help me understand me a little bit better.

Sorry that this blog post has turned into a waffle about me and my thoughts, but hopefully someone who reads might be encouraged in some small way. I don't think there is anyone who has a great day everyday and I know that there are many people in this world with bigger problems than mine, like my friends who were in Kampala, Uganda when there were suicide bombers attacking yesterday, but there it is.


I hope yours has been a good one.

Thank you for reading,

Love Suzanne

P.S. Last weeks markets were cancelled due to high wind, I am booked in to go again this weekend which is looking like raining, but if it's on I'll be there. Handmade in the Hunter Markets, Sobels Wines.

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